I am not really saying that I am an alcoholic... however, I do know that I drink a lot even if I don't want to, or plan to. 

And it isn't effecting our relationship on the surface, but I think it would only help make it better if I quit. 

So, I have made the conscience decision today, that I am going to be sober. I am not going to tell anyone, not even Adam. This is for me. 

And my journal. 

Gives me something to write about. 

charlie day made my night

So I was in this room that I was not familiar with, but Kaitlin Olson, Glenn Howerton, and Charlie day were in there with me. It was dark with a bed and we just all hung out on the bed for a while, talking and drinking and being weird.. other things took place but I can't really remember..

Later on, the 4 of us decided to go out, and we went to a huge building that had all sorts of different drinking places.. and I was walking with Charlie (and we had been naturally flirting with eachother.. one of those, its not reallt flirting its just how i talk to you type sitch) anyway, I kept trying to ask him around the bush questions to get him to tell me he wanted me... and finally he stopped walking, and was like

" YES YES alright, i think you are freakin beautiful and funny and we should make babies because they would be funny.. and i cant really do anything because you are dreaming."

and then i woke up.

i have never had a dream where someone actually tells me I am dreaming.. I have dreamt something scary and been able to remind myself it is a dream.

but it was weird.

but i got to see this guy.

*douche chill*